Am I Supposed to Change?

There is some math in the back of my mind, and I considered discussing it in this post … but I hate math. So we’ll skip BMIs and what percentage a rider’s weight should be of a horse’s weight for a safe and comfortable ride for both. I am within the acceptable range in both cases, so those are not very good rubrics for how I want to approach this.

At a recent doctor’s appointment, I saw a number I had never seen before, associated with me. It was … a new experience. A variety of factors contribute to this number — desk job, the holidays, total lack of paying attention or giving a crap, prescription medications, erratic weather, my age, want of discipline …

Bad picture quality, but I can be my own goals.

Realistically, which of these factors can I control? Let’s start with discipline. I don’t have it, not consistently, not for everything. Not for much, at all. However, I think this will be the first place I start, the first place I can change. Discipline is totally up to me.

You see, I have been pretty active most of my life and have eaten and drank whatever, whenever most of my life. I haven’t had to think much about fitting into my clothes. Where I am right now, I still don’t. Yet. But I need to cut out some behaviors that are detrimental to my health, such as eating lunch out of a snack machine. Or I’m going to need a whole new closet and ain’t nobody got money for that.

I also owe it to my horse to be a little less slovenly and a little more athleticly-minded in my habits. I owe it to myself to develop new habits that on balance will be really, really easy to do. I am not talking about following whatever diet people follow, or trying meal services, or joining any kind of gym-like facility. I have tried such things and they are not to my taste. Convenience and simplicity are to my taste, at least when it comes to day-to-day nutrition.

I am going to stop eating cookies every damn day. I am going to stop going for the all-you-can-eat peanut M&Ms telling myself they are a great source of protein. I am ditching mayonnaise and creamy salad dressings (already had to give up most ranch dressings on the market because of msg anyway). But can I be bothered to pack a lunch for work? Eh, nah. I can still get a salad at work, but instead of augmenting that with cookies, candy, pop tarts, and sodas I am trying stuff I have never tried before: Soylent and RXBARs. Less sugar, right away. I can subscribe to both, either through the brand websites or Amazon — I am going with Amazon because I have other subscriptions via Amazon, too, and you get discounts for subscribing to many things. Soylent’s “Let us take a few things off your plate” speaks to me.

An allergist told me not to eat too many eggs, so this may backfire on me …

RXBARs, I just ran across on social media and thought they sounded good, and once I compared their nutrition labels to other “healthy” or “protein” bars, I knew I wanted RXBARs. No added sugars, unlike almost everything else.

But that is not to say I want “whole” foods or I am going to go on some crazy ass Candida cleanse that would probably leave me starving to death wondering why I can’t have some buttered rye toast with my coffee. Did I mention I am NOT giving up bread or cheese? I am not a masochist. GMO? Fine with me. Meat? I am eating less and less of it but I have no plans to give it up entirely. (Yet. The way America does factory farm feedlot meat is pretty much unsustainable but that’s outside the scope of this post.)

I didn’t know I needed molybdenum but sure.

Soylent piqued my interest some time ago when I somehow caught one of the founders interviewed, and he was his very own tech bro guinea pig, even wondering why he had the formula totally right and still came up anemic and realized, oh yeah … iron … I thought he was absolutely adorable and because of my love of classic sci-fi I couldn’t help but snork at the name. I held off, though, because initially the product was one flavor in powder form and that was just not convenient enough for me. But I liked the idea. This could be like lembas bread in a bottle.

I am still going to cook myself food, to the extent that I cook — if salads, sandwiches, and pastas even count. I eat nuts and berries anyway, too. (Cue Talking Heads (Nothing But) Flowers.) I need a desk-job-doable solution to my abhorrent eating habits. I’m trying these two things first.

As far as palatability, I can recommend both Soylent Cacao and the chocolate sea salt RXBARs. I also get that satiated feeling after consuming either, a feeling I do not get at all ever when snacking on the sugary stuff. I am just trying to evolve some of my worse habits into less bad ones. Maybe my breeches won’t feel quite so tight in the waist in a few months. Hopefully I can keep myself in the kind of shape I try to keep Eli in. Conrad can stay smooshy, though. Except in reality he is probably in the best shape out of the three of us creatures right now.

We are not that far away from this and I can get us there again.

I am not getting anything from Amazon, RXBARs, or Soylent for writing this. This is just my brain hatching its weird little plans. But I’d happily take free stuff from any of those companies. Has anyone tried the Soylent Chai?

16 thoughts on “Am I Supposed to Change?

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  1. OHH i wanted to try the RxBars but havent yet. They are good??

    OMG it is such a struggle I was my skinniest a few years back (Ask Amanda she barely recognized me when she flew up here on Jan I was so much heavier in Texas!) but it is slowly coming back on. I try to eat healthy, I work out 4-5 times a week at the gym but it still packs on (I am 51 going on 52 UGH). So you inspire me to be a little more healthier if possible. Good luck! Sounds like a good plan!


    1. I have only tried the chocolate sea salt and I like it. Not very sweet, but very chocolatey. Also very, very, very chewy but it takes a long time to eat like that which tricks me into think I am full haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah it’s a huge fluctuation for me. Some days I hardly eat at all. Others I feel like I have to be munching on things always. The holidays were definitely tough, but I think too I’ve had a LOT less stress, and that tends to keep weight off better than any type of workout. I’m definitely like you in that the easier the better, but I’ve recently been just grabbing the mac&cheese cups for lunch…..ehhhhh I could probably do without those lol. I know for me, too (which I dunno about you – just throwing some things out there) I’ve noticed I also feel better/eat better/keep off the weight easier when I actually take my vitamins. Which is usually because by the time I remember to I’m super depleted lol. But I have to supplement iron and B12 and that helps a lot. Either way, though, it sounds like a good plan for you! I’ve never tried those things, but I’ll have to look them up! I’m always looking for easy ways to do my work lunch lol.


    1. The holidays + ice really messed me up, too. I do drink those emergen-c packets and I usually feel better when I do that instead of binging on sugar and then feeling ill


  3. After trying on lots of breeches at my new job last weekend (apparently I’m a glutton for punishment….every pair was tan), I decided I need to make some changes too. I am 3 days in to a lower carb/less sugar diet and so far it’s going okay, but the carb flu is real. My head pretty much hurts constantly. I haven’t so far been craving anything really sweet, though right now looking at the labels is a good deterrent. I’m not sure how long I’m going to be able to keep this up, but I’m sure going to try.


    1. I am also experiencing sugar withdrawal. I am not cutting it out but I was eating a TON of sugar in the afternoons and not having it then is … difficult …


  4. Being a healthier you is SUCH a personal journey. I think the only way it works is to figure out what works for YOU and it’s so, so different for each person! I’m terrible about diets, but I’ve found I’m good at keeping appointments so working with a trainer at a gym has been good for me.


    1. I did work with a trainer at a gym for a while because I am the same way about appointments. But then I decided I would rather spend that on pony stuff, lol


  5. We get regular and coffee soylent (lovingly called Slurm in this house), was wondering about the cacao soylent. T won’t buy it and as the main soylent drinker (he’s an engineer) in the house I can’t really make him see my reasoning, he’s just not interested. Soylent is great since it makes calorie counting so easy and it’s so easily digestible,but it takes a bit for your body to get used to and you’ll probably notice some changes lol. So glad they discontinued the bars – those things were nasty. Best of luck on the journey!


    1. I *really* like the cacao flavor. The consistency isn’t really an issue for me and from reviews I was a little worried about it. Slurm is another good name for it


  6. Holidays + cold weather always do me in – all I want to eat is mac n cheese. Seriously, nothing else. And I’m completely unmotivated to be outside or doing anything other than be under a blanket on my couch. I’ve found adding some Collagen Peptides to my morning coffee (the blue vital proteins has zero taste or texture) keeps me full almost all day. I also like RXBars, particularly the blueberry one. Couldn’t get into the chocolate sea salt. I can work out until I’m blue in the face, but if my diet isn’t better, I don’t lose an ounce.
    And nothing is more motivating than realizing I have to be in white breeches in two months…


    1. Seriously about the breeches! I had better fit in my black tall boots, too, before shows start. Cold weather is so demotivating, I agree. But then I wonder how many calories I burn just from shivering lol


  7. My co-workers swear by RXbars but I hadn’t tried them yet. I may add them to my list. I’m a horrible eater at work too – there is always food available and it’s much easier to eat what is provided versus what you have brought that day.


  8. Ugh you are so right- holidays were rough and I too got in some bad habits. I HATE working out, but one thing I AM able to stick with is a plank every night before hopping in bed. For a minute. I figure I owe Rio ONE MINUTE of working out a day- it really does help keep my core tight and stronger, which obvi helps the riding. That’s as far as my working out goes though!


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