The versatility of potatoes cannot be overstated. They come in all shapes and sizes and preparing potatoes can be as simple as a pan fry or as involved and nuanced as potato gnocchi.
Also, we compare ourselves to them all the time on social media. Generally, we see being a potato in the saddle as a bad thing.
Let’s change that. Let’s allow the versatile potato represent all the various ways we show up and ride our ponies.
Raw Potato
This, I am assuming, is what we all mean when we call ourselves potatoes on our instas. Lumpy, cold, unpleasant to bite into … nobody wants a raw potato. If you’re a raw potato, you formlessly yet stiffly flop around in the saddle. This potato level is to be avoided if at all possible. If you have had more than 3 lessons, you need to be out of the raw potato phase.
Baked Potato
Baked potatoes could go one of two ways: top-heavy with excess calories, or light and fluffy and just the right amount of butter and seasoning. This is an acceptable potato, but a bit boring. Either option is not great, but not the worst thing you could be/eat.
Twice-Baked Potato
It took you a long time to get to this point. But you still have a long way to go. It only gets more complicated.
Hash Browns
Rough and ready and also a morning person. You can ride, but you probably don’t wear your hair up in your helmet.
Potato Soup
You’ve leveled up from baked potato, but without an outside influence to hold you in–bowl/trainer–you end up all over the place and licked up from the floor by barn dogs.
Tater Tots
PONEH RIDAHZZZ! Akin to these are the roasted red potatoes: the petite adult riders small enough to still train ponies.
Mashed Potatoes
Ah, that “feel,” that softness, you’ve achieved it. But unfortunately at the expense of your equitation, which means you’re still pretty ineffective. Sit up. Use all your body parts independently. You look like you are about to fall off.
Potato Chips
The bane of hunter riders everywhere. Your trainer has just walked away from the in-gate.
Scalloped Potatoes
You can articulate your aids. You can be covered in a buttery béchamel without getting greasy. You look good in your whites. Let’s all strive for this sophisticated level of potato.
Vichyssoise
Simple, or complex? Not sure. What happens after riding too many horses in one day for your fitness level, or what happens when you ride when it is really, really hot. Or when you have a fever. You are potato purée in breeches, and a bit smelly due to leeks, or Nyquil. Your pony is not motivated at all by your lack of impressiveness.
French Fries
You ride hard on the weekends and not at all during the week. You like a quick and easy ride and I hope your horse is bombproof for the sake of you both.
Potato Pancakes
You have fallen off. You may need a visit to the ER, but not before you get back on and jump the damn liverpool first.
😂
Hysterical. I love it!
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I am wondering what potatoes I forgot.
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My husband and I fond of making something called crash hot potatoes, but I’m how to parallel that to riding (or if I would want to!). 😉
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ok idk why but it is among my biggest pet peeves when riders refer to themselves or their horses as potatoes lol. i just don’t get it!
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I don’t really get it either. I’m trying to get it with this post … like how did it even start?
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Clearly it’s because potatoes are AWESOME. And delicious. Especially red potatoes.
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I am hungry all over again
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Funny. Haha. I definitely feel like mashed potatoes.
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I have been just about every potato on this list at some point.
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Haha, well put. I am solidly a mashed potato.
And now craving some scalloped potatoes.
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I love scalloped potatoes.
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These are great. Definitely going to be a roasted red potato (on some days I’m more of a tater tot really) for the rest of my life. But I can really relate to the potato pancake.
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I have some very memorable potato pancake moments.
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I will forever describe myself as Vichyssoise.
What’s taters, precious? Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em on a horse apparently.
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I consider myself vichyssoise the remainder of summer.
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Hahahahha love this!
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I am so glad I am finally at lunch, lol
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This is too funny!!
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A little satire for Monday 😉
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This post made me laugh! And made me hungry for potatoes!
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Lol, right? As I was writing it, I really wanted some fries!
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Self confessed potato rider here, even guilty of using a potato rider hashtag (eep!), and I identify so strongly with being a mashed potato!
I don’t know how or where potato rider came from, but I like it! Sounds a whole lot nicer than ‘sucks at riding’. Potatoes also suck at riding horses but they’re flipping delicious so we like them anyway 😀
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This is an excellent explanation–who doesn’t love potatoes??? What do people on low carb diets even eat?
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Def the mashed potato. God I’m so hungry
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It is lunch time. I want tots.
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