This is important, y’all. I want to clarify something I wrote in my show recap that, understandably so, y’all might have thought was just hyperbole on my part. But there actually ARE 27 stages of mortification.
It is possible to go through the entire process in about 6 seconds.
- Confusion as to why my body just did something my brain did not tell it to do
- Curiosity about whether I may be under the spell of a witch
- Or a body snatcher
- Or whether I am experiencing amnesia
- Decide amnesia is least likely
- Get control of rebellious/possessed/enthralled body
- Realize that what rebellious/etc. body just did is actually pretty bad
- Feel shame
- Feel remorse
- Crave doughnuts
- And beer
- Feel thirsty
- Get brain back on track, and tell body to get its shit together
- Sit tall
- Piercingly gaze forward
- Accept that body has made a mistake and that brain is a slacker
- Focus on the beer waiting for me at the end of all this
- No wait, brain, focus on the task at hand
- Attempt to accomplish task at hand
- Wonder what body looks like accomplishing the task at hand
- Wonder if people are watching me
- Confirm that people are indeed watching me
- Piercingly gaze forward again
- Suppress urge to scream and whimper
- Accept the difficulty of the situation and pursue it to its natural conclusion anyway
- Sigh
- Shrug shoulders and smile awkwardly
I imagine each stage is highly gif-able, too, possibly even exclusively with cat gifs, but I’m not that fancy.
Hahahahaha, this had me dying! True Life: My jumping rounds are done under the spell of a witch.
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And yet completely motivated by beer and doughnuts … lol
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ROFL this is epic!
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“Focus on the beer waiting for me at the end of all this” –> this is the story of my life lol
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BEER.
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LOL so great! I love #17!
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How did we ride as juniors without beer to motivate us???
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LOL #17 is my favorite!
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Yup, can not go wrong with cold beer!
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ERMEGERD SPARKLE PS HIGH JUMP
loooooooooove it
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When my horse wears this browband I just want to sing all the Rhianna songs about diamonds to him.
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